Review/Rant: Tess of the d'Ubervilles by Thomas Hardy

So it's a little known fact that I write my review notes in the colour I deem most appropriate for that particular book, based on usually nothing more than a passing whim - red for FEED, orange for Mr Penumbra's... and so on. Do you know what colour I chose for Tess of the d'Ubervilles? Black. Blackest black black black black black.

Plot summary: The chance discovery by a young peasant woman that she is a descendant of the noble family of d'Urbervilles is to change the course of her life. Tess Durbeyfield leaves home on the first of her fateful journeys, and meets the ruthless Alec d'Urberville. Thomas Hardy's impassioned story tells of hope and disappointment, rejection and enduring love.

The following review will contain spoilers for Tess of the d'Ubervilles by Thomas Hardy, mainly because I want to rant.

Also contains strong language, for said reason.

This seems to be a complete love it or hate it book. Everybody seems to have an opinion about Tess, whether it's a heart-breaking novel of tragedy and perseverance or a whiny novel about a pathetic protagonist (and some fields). I'm no exception and while I conclude that it does have good points, they were vastly overshadowed by my desperate need to hurl myself out the nearest window.

See? Blackest black black.

Tess of the d'Ubervilles consists of lenghy essays about farming techniques and abstract philosophical ramblings, interspersed with the most depressing story since Les Miserables, and at least the clue is in the name with that one.

Since I've already done a spoiler warning, I figured I'd summarise the plot for y'all:

• Tess' horse dies a painful death. Tess blames herself.
• Tess goes to work as a chicken lady, where she gets raped by Alec. Tess blames herself.
• Tess has a baby, which she dramatically names 'Sorrow,' just before it dies.
• Tess goes to work on a dairy where she falls in love with a nice man. She is not worthy.
• He loves her back and so she resolves to kill herself, naturally.
• He proposes, but after the wedding he confesses that he's not a virgin as he consensually spent a consensual weekend of consensual sin with a consensual woman.
• Tess confesses she was raped.
• Angel is shocked and disgusted by her sin. Tess blames herself.
• Angel eventually runs away to Brazil after a) days of being abusive and b) suggesting to Tess' friend that she be his mistress.
• Tess blames her fucking self.
• Tess' father dies and her mother emotionally blackmails her.
• Tess runs into Alec and becomes his mistress.  
• Angel changes his mind after a year and comes home, but finds Tess has finally seen sense (debatably).
• Tess kills Alec.
• Tess and Angel go on the run... until she is eventually executed after four pages of describing a field.

Now look. I know this all sounds frightfully dramatic - lots of action and suspense and whatnot. Except... no. It's just tedious and miserable. It's a long book to drag out those fifteen bullet points and that's done by tedious essays about morality and the importance of self-reflection.

Tess is the problem, as you may have guessed by my passive-aggressiveness. I just HATED her. She was so mind-numbingly sorry for herself when actually, everything was her own doing (except the rape, obviously). She could have fixed her problems by standing up for herself - even Angel said that he would have respected her more if she stood her ground. She's pathetic. PATHETIC.

So easefully has she delivered her whole being up to him that it pleased her to think that he was regarding her as his absolute possession, to dispose of as he should choose. It was consoling, under the hovering terror of tomorrow's separation, to feel that he really recognised her now as his wife Tess, and did not cast her off, even if in that recognition he went so far as to arrogate to himself the right of harming her.    

No. Just no. She's so pleased that he referred to her as his wife, that she's quite willing for him to harm 'his property.' He sleepwalks, picks her up and carries outside and she's genuinely thrilled at the idea that he's going to drown them both. I'm actually thumping the keys so hard it hurts my fingers right now.

What annoys me most is that she doesn't learn. There's no comeupannce (you know, aside from her eventual execution) and she never understands the importance of self-respect. She just trudges on, sighing dramatically and holding her hand to her head. 

Yes yes, it was a different time period. But the point is, I'm in this period and it aggravates me. I know Hardy was (theoretically) writing from a pro-Tess perspective about all the wrongs men did to her, but it doesn't stop her being the least likeable character in the whole of fiction.

Angel isn't much better - aside from the obvious double standards of 'hey, I spent a weekend with a random woman but I hate you for being raped' asshattery, he morally objects to her (unwilling) lack of virginity but is just fiiiiine when she murders somebody.

 
The ending doesn't make much sense either. I wasn't traumatised or heart-broken, just slightly bewildered. I mean... why kill him? Yes, he raped you but the time for revenging that was long past. You had a little whine that he lied to you but actually he didn't - he surmised to you that Angel wasn't coming back (a reasonable assumption under the circumstances) and you believed him because you are a fucking moron. You don't have to believe everything everybody suggests to you and then you don't have to kill them when you do.

It's out of character and non-believable. I mean, I understand the point is that she finally 'snapped' after all this hardship and took what she wanted instead of what others desired for her... but it still doesn't fit. The very ending itself is incredibly anti-climactic - there's more focus on a stray field than anything else. 'Oh by the way, Tess was executed... but look at this greenery!'

It's suprisingly accessible and easy to read, content aside. There are some marvellous quotes and some beautiful prose, but they were overshadowed by the hugely irritating characters and over-emphasis on farming. I'm quite interested in what Thomas Hardy actually intended this book to say, because I know there's a message here. Either that or he really hated women.

In her misery she rocked herself upon the bed. The clock struck the solemn hour of one, that hour when fancy stalks outside reason, and malignant possibilities stand rock-firm as facts.

We're done here, I think. I'm glad I've read Tess of the d'Ubervilles but I can't particularly say that I enjoyed doing so. I could have dealt with the sad plot, but not with Tess herself. It's a lifeless trainwreck of misery. 

This book was:

• My Favourite Quote of 2014
  

So. I know at least one of you that loves it and at least one that hates it. Where do you stand on Tess of the d'Ubervilles?