Review: Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan le Fanu

I've been on a bit of a Victorian gothic kick lately - The Yellow Wallpaper, We Have Always Lived in the Castle and now Carmilla. Unfortunately I now seem to have run out of options and I'll be relegated to The Fault in Our Stars or something equally ghastly. I'm joking of course - that's dreary and depressing in a whole different way :/

Plot summary: A young woman living at her father's castle is the narrator of this novella. When a mysterious and beautiful stranger is stranded at the castle in odd circumstances and becomes a guest, the heroine quickly forms a close bond with her --but she subsequently discovers that her "friend" has a dark and lethal secret.

So. Apparently Carmilla was written twenty six whole years before Dracula, which surprised me because that's where I thought the whole popular myth originated.   Well, it may be responsible for the prominence of the superstition today, but it certainly wasn't the origin. The usual accoutrements of vampirism are present in Carmilla - pinprick marks on the neck, sexual attraction (admittedly very tamely - we are in 1872, after all), stakes and coffins. They even use the word 'vampire,' which indicates that the myth was at least somewhat well known at the time.

It's a damn sight shorter than Dracula, only 98 pages or so, and it's much more female-orientated. The blurb of my copy made it sound just short of some gothic lesbian fantasy (I can only imagine the Google hits I'm going to get now...), but it's really not like that at all. 

Essentially, Laura is a bored nineteen year old girl who ends up with a beautiful, female houseguest. They quickly become close friends and occasionally exchange the occasional cheek stroke and mutterings of adoration. Girls Gone Wild XXX, it is not. I realise I sound quite disappointed about this, but I was surprised by just how much I liked this book. 

The plot itself is quite simple, but it's suitably ominous and creepy. There's even a Van Helsing-esque character who comes along to teach us all the secrets of the vampires. Which, admittedly, aren't all that secret in 2015. But points for effort, ey?

There's not a whole lot more I can say about Carmilla, considering it's 98 pages long and we're all familiar with the basic vampire tale. I liked this an awful lot more than I expected though - there are no frills and no padding. Just straight-up creepy vampire women :)

Read my review of Dracula here.  

Review: The Three by Sarah Lotz

Hmm. I really didn't notice the creepy-ass children staring out at me from this book cover when I was reading it. I feel like I may have transferred to my dusty and neglected Kindle if I had... *shudders*

Plot summary:
They're here ... The boy. The boy watch the boy watch the dead people oh Lordy there's so many ... They're coming for me now. We're all going soon. All of us. Pastor Len warn them that the boy he's not to­­--
The last words of Pamela May Donald (1961 - 2012)

Black Thursday. The day that will never be forgotten. The day that four passenger planes crash, at almost exactly the same moment, at four different points around the globe.

There are only four survivors. Three are children, who emerge from the wreckage seemingly unhurt. But they are not unchanged. And the fourth is Pamela May Donald, who lives just long enough to record a voice message on her phone. A message that will change the world.

The message is a warning.

I went into this book not really knowing too much about it, and I honestly think that's the best way with a book like this one. I'd completely forgotten the subject of The Three between Katie buying it for my birthday in August and actually beginning to read it in March this year (believe it or not, that's actually quite a quick turnaround), so I decided not to bother reading the blurb and just run with it. I started to read it on the train on the way to work... four pages in I was hooked and couldn't wait until lunchtime when I could read some more.

There are a lot of different aspects to this story. Each of the four survivors have families who react in different ways, not to mention the media, the religious groups, the bereaved and a multitude of other groups. It's a very emotional book - emotion-provoking, I mean. You'd assume that I mean the generic descriptions of what it's like to lose a loved one, but that's absolutely not what I'm talking about. Sarah Lotz really does get inside her characters heads perfectly.

I've read different reviews of this book, and different aspects seem to affect different readers. I found the Doomsday Cult portion absolutely fascinating and I'd have been happy with a whole book about how religious factions can become over-zealous in reaction to certail events. That said, I really fervently disliked Chiyoko, or whatever her name is. She was a little too cliched and OTT to be believable and I found her chapters really halted the flow of my reading. So it's not perfect, but it is pretty damn good.

I'm not usually a fan of the newspaper/interview style of writing (you know, like in World War Z) as I think it sometimes prevents you from becoming properly immersed in the story. It does seem to work here though, possibly because it hides what's really happening for just that little bit longer...

At the risk of sounding overly hipster again, I loved the whole meta book-within-a-book thing. It was really detailed and perfectly thought out - clearly a lot of effort had gone in to making it work. It's impressive. It even includes fore and afterwords from the fictional editor. It's worth reading just for that.

The ending wasn't amazing, I have to admit. I understand that it's meant to be open to your own interpretation, but it was almost a little too open. I'd like to have something to go on, some indication of what the author was trying to imply The Three were, as I'm not entirely sure.

I really would recommend The Three. It's dark, inventive and mysterious, although perhaps refrain from reading it during any kind of plane ride. Just saying.

Read Ellie's review of The Three here.

Review: Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix

I feel like I might actually be the last person to review this, but we'll just refer to it as a delightfully retro review and leave it at that.

Plot summary: It's a classic old-fashioned haunted house story - set in a big box Swedish furniture superstore. Designed like a retail catalogue, Horrorstor offers a creepy read with mass appeal-perfect for Halloween tables! Something strange is happening at the Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio. Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring wardrobes, shattered Bracken glassware, and vandalized Liripip sofabeds-clearly, someone or something is up to no good. 

To unravel the mystery, five young employees volunteer for a long dusk-til-dawn shift-and they encounter horrors that defy imagination. Along the way, author Grady Hendrix infuses sly social commentary on the nature of work in the new 21st century economy. A traditional haunted house story in a contemporary setting (and full of contemporary fears), Horrorstor comes conveniently packaged in the form of a retail catalogue, complete with illustrations of ready-to-assemble furniture and other, more sinister accessories.

Why yes, this book does look like an IKEA catalogue. That's not the selling point of this book at all.

It's actually pretty well done. I had several relatives reach for it when I left it on the coffee table, thinking it was an actual catalogue. It's only when you turn it over and see the zombies peering out from the photoframes or open it and notice the diagrams of torture implements, that you realise all may not be what it seems.

The theme continues throughout. On the front and back inside covers there are maps and layouts of the store, and there are those blue and white diagrams of various types of furniture. Some rather niche furniture. The story itself is told in standard, prose paragraphs - which sounds obvious but I wasn't sure how the text was going to be presented before I actually opened the book.

The thing is, how many of us would have bought Horrorstör if it didn't look so unusual? It's very well designed, but what's the story like?

Well, it's fine. It's good, but kind of... shallow. The narrative progresses fairly rapidly, but sometimes it reads more as a list of things that happened. 'Amy did this and then did that and then that thing happened.' It doesn't go in far enough, which prevents it from being scary, I think. The lack of detail meant that I read it quite cheerfully alone at 1am in a dim room. Some of the events are fairly dark and quite gruesome, but there's not much emotion - the characters don't feel scared, so the reader doesn't either.

The concept of the story (not the design) is quite interesting. I won't give it away because it's vaguely spoilery, but it's not something I've seen done often. Again though, it really did need more detail and emotion to work properly. I also totally missed the 'sly social commentary on the nature of work in the new 21st century economy' referred to in the blurb, but I strongly suspect that may be a slightly ambitious wish on the part of the publisher.

I did like this book, but it does feel very gimmicky. Don't get me wrong, it's a very well-done gimmick, but I just don't feel that the story can stand on its own feet. I mean, there was no earthly reason it had to be set in a psuedo-IKEA store - it would have worked just as well anyway. The layout and design are very memorable but the content and the story are actually just mediocre.

Read a more positive review of Horrorstör at Curiosity Killed the Bookworm.
 

Review: Symbiont (Parasitology #2) by Mira Grant

As is usually the case for this time of year, I've done none of the things that I'd planned to accomplish before Christmas, incuding getting up-to-date with reviews. I've been super ill and tired lately, as well as the usual festive busy-ness (I went to Lincoln with a friend yesterday and had the best time ever), but I couldn't not write about Symbiont. The first book in this series, Parasite, was one of the best books I read in 2013, so I started this the second I got my grubby little paws on it.

Plot summary:

THE ENEMY IS INSIDE US.

The SymboGen-designed parasites were created to relieve humanity of disease and sickness. But the implants in the majority of the world's population began attacking their hosts, turning them into a ravenous horde.

Now those who do not appear to be afflicted are being gathered for quarantine as panic spreads, but Sal and her companions must discover how the parasites are taking over their hosts, what their eventual goal is and how they can be stopped.

Whilst I enjoyed this book a lot more than the second book in the Newsflesh series, I'd have to admit that Mira Grant isn't the best at mid-series novels. Symbiont is reasonably good, but falls prey to most of the traps that these things usually fall in to - a lot of talking and travelling around without a whole lot of plot advancement. It's probably safe to say that Symbiont could be removed from the trilogy and the story would remain more or less the same.

I did like this book, as I love the world that the author has created. I find the concept of Intestinal Bodyguards fascinating (if slightly gross) and really well thought-out so I've been looking forward to engrossing myself in the concept again. We don't learn much on top of what we already knew, but then it was explained so thoroughly in Parasite that I don't think we really needed much more.

The between-chapter blog posts and character interviews remain, which add interesting background information. The addition of Tansy's chapters really interested me though. They're brief but brutal, and completely add a stream of horror throughout the novel.

Where the concept falls down slightly, however, is the slight change of tone from the last book. It picks up almost exactly where Parasite left off, but there's quite a large jump in the way the tapeworms are viewed. We're instantly expected to see them as being equal to humans, having as much right to survive as us, but that's asking a bit much this early on. It's as if it tries to pose a moral question that doesn't quite work. It's like asking, 'Hey, if you had to run over either an ant or a person, which would you choose?' and expecting someone to seriously ponder the answer. The best thing about Parasite was how it made tapeworms taking over the world seem believable, but it's lost a little of that now.

Sal seems to accept her new situation incredibly quickly. The narrative attempts to explain it away by saying 'Oh, I guess I always secretly knew!' but no, that's a cop-out. Show me the reaction! It was such a killer ending to Parasite, but it's cheapened slightly by the failure to deal with it properly. Mira Grant has a habit of creating huge plot twists, but then almost taking them back in the following book. 

I kind of liked Sal in the first book, but she's getting annoying now. The melodrama about travelling in cars was always irritating but there's more wandering about in Symbiont, so there's more snivelling. It almost seems like so many people complained about it after Parasite that Sal constantly reiterates how reasonable it is for her to be scared of cars. And I do mean constantly. Shut up already.

This review sounds as if I didn't like Symbiont, but it wasn't that bad. It's just very middle-bookish. The ending is very interesting and I can't wait to see where Mira Grant goes with that. Well, assuming she doesn't backtrack on it...

Read my review of Parasite, the first book in the Parasitology series.

Review: Blackout (Newsflesh #3) by Mira Grant

This book was always going to be a risk for me - I liked Feed, hated Deadline and obviously Parasite is the greatest book ever. With such a mishmash of quality, who knew how the final book of the Newsflesh series was going to turn out? Thankfully, it turned out pretty well so we can all just stop hanging off the edge of our seats now.

Contains spoilers for both the previous books.

Plot summary: The year is 2041, and Shaun Mason is having a bad day. Everyone he knows is dead or in hiding. The world is doing its best to end itself for the second time. The Centre for Disease Control is out to get him. With too much left to do and not much time left to do it in, he must face mad scientists, zombie bears and rogue government agencies before the conspiracy that killed Georgia manages to kill the only thing he has left of her - the truth.

And if there's one thing he knows is true in this post-zombie, post-resurrection America, it's this: Things can always get worse.

I'll admit this took me a while to really get into, but I suspect that's mostly due to the suspicion with which I was viewing it. I was profoundly unimpressed with the predecessor, so it's only natural I was wary at first. It picked up (or I got over myself, either way) around the 1/4 mark or so and I ended up reading the remainder almost in one sitting.

It's a whole lot less lazy than Deadline, which is a pleasant surprise. There's more explanation and in-depth character examination, instead of shoving a fact at us and running off on another road-trip. There is quite a large event that relies far, far too much on coincidence and is, on the whole, written shockingly badly, but the book itself is much better put together than the previous. I'd even go so far as to say that it's written quite well.

Georgia's chapters are infinitely more interesting than Shaun's, although his 'voice' was part of the reason I didn't like Deadline in the first place. We already knew everything that was going on with his situation as it hasn't changed a whole lot from the previous book, so it seemed slower in comparison. To be fair though, he has improved. He seemed a lot less irritatingly thuglike in Blackout and so I didn't quite feel the need to throttle him. 

Georgia... hmm. Georgia is quite irritating, which is a shame as I kind of liked her in the first book. Now she's turned into a caricatured primadonna-ed version of herself, dramatically demanding Coke (the fizzy kind, although the alternative may do her some good) and her sunglasses. I appreciate that she's supposed to be a strong, female character but she's too far in the other direction now and there lies only smugness and arrogance.

I am impressed with her identity issues, however. It would have been incredibly easy to gloss over her doubts over her new existence, but they're given quite a lot of page space. It's something new and interesting to add to what could have easily become another generic zombie book.

Minor relationship spoilers below:

YES! I CALLED IT! Remember how I was all 'yeeeeeah, their relationship is creepy' and everyone was all 'Don't make it weird, Hanna?' I WAS DAMN-WELL RIGHT. See? Sometimes siblings are just fucking each other.  

I hate this. Hate it hate it hate it. I'm actually fairly liberal about incest - if you're both consenting adults, do whatever the hell you like. But this is weird, unnecessary and it just doesn't work. I don't care that they were adopted, they refer to each other as brother and sister throughout. 

They could easily have just been close siblings who bonded over their lack of parental love, but no. They just had to add incest in for shock value, they didn't they!? Somehow this is what makes it unbelievable, not the zombies.

And we're done.

It's not perfect - there are a few issues such as the apparent ability to explain complex immuno-virology lab reports, yet struggling over whether clones have fingerprints. It's nothing major, just a few little things that break my concentration occasionally. The plot isn't as clear as it could be, but I never felt like it was completely going over my head.

On the whole, I really liked Blackout - it's a huge improvement on Deadline and I'm glad I persevered with the series. The characters develop in interesting ways, Georgia especially, although I'm not thrilled with the sub-plot that I totally predicted (see spoilery section above). The thing that made it though, was the time taken to explain new developments and ensuring that readers were fully on board before haring off to the new plot twist.

Read my reviews of Feed (positive) and Deadline (not so positive), the first and second books in the Newsflesh series.   

Review: Deadline (Newsflesh #2) by Mira Grant

Hmm. Alright, well, let's start with what we already know. Parasite, also by Mira Grant, was easily one of the best books of 2013, no question. Somehow, tapeworms taking over the world made perfect sense. Feed, which I read earlier this year was very good, although not quite on a par with Parasite. Yay for well-thought-out zombies. Deadline is the book after Feed, and therefore the next in the Newsflesh series. Everybody with me so far?

Contains spoilers for Feed.

Plot summary: Shaun Mason is a man without a mission. Not even running the news organisation he built with his sister has the same urgency as it used to. Playing with dead things just doesn't seem as fun when you've lost as much as he has.

But when a researcher from the Centre for Disease Control fakes her own death and appears on his doorstep with a ravenous pack of zombies in tow, Shaun's relieved to find a new purpose in life. Because this researcher comes bearing news: the monster who attacked them may be destroyed, but the conspiracy is far from dead.

Now, Shaun hits the road to find what truth can be found at the end of a shotgun.

  
These aren't your typical zombie horror books, not are they the standard YA post-apocalyptic tripe. They're not YA, for a start. The prose is very advanced and holds your attention, which isn't an easy feat whilst explaining advanced immuno-biology. Secondly, whilst zombies are involved, it's definitely more sci-fi than horror, as the novels go into great detail about the science of mutating viruses and the feasibility of a mass outbreak. It's complicated.

Too complicated, one might say (and I do). At the risk of being patted on the head and told to run off and play with my toys... I massively struggled to follow this book. Parts of it just don't make sense. We're constantly given facts without the necessary explanation, like the conclusion/consequences should be blindingly obvious, only they're not. I kept rereading paragraphs in case I'd missed something, but I rarely had.

Basically, it goes too fast. Not action-wise (we'll get to that), but text-wise. It moves on to another topic before we've fully got to grips with one idea, which makes a huge difference considering the entire premise is psuedo-science based. It needs to take the time to explain itself and it doesn't. I'm a normal person of average intelligence... yet I was confused with this. Either I've grossly over-estimated my own intellect or Deadline needs editing.

For example, there's a whole thing about why it's a big deal that Georgia had retinal Kellis-Amberlee (the virus mutation that causes zombieness) when Shaun didn't, which I don't understand because they were adopted separately... so of course they have different genes. And then somehow that makes Shaun a target and everyone's nodding their heads sagely and going ''Ah yes, that makes sense..." but DOES IT!? *hyperventilates*

I'd have to say that Deadline is mostly just talking. I mean, I don't object to that in a book necessarily but it's a large contrast to Feed, which had a good mix of scientific theory and poking zombies with sticks. There's a lot of travelling from place to place (and then back to the original place (via a different place)) in a van, while they talk the entire time. I never thought I'd say this, but I really just wanted them to shoot something.

And now for the point that irritated me most about Deadline: Georgia talks inside Shaun's mind. Constantly. They have conversations throughout. I considered whether this might be mildly spoilery but it's revealed within four pages, and I wish I'd known this before I picked the book up. Partly because it took me a while to understand what and why that was happening (which is never explained), but then I suppose we're back to the lack of communication mentioned above.

Anyway. If you're going to kill off a main character, COMMIT TO IT. You don't get to have the reader's respect for being ballsy enough to do it and still get to use them as a character in the sequel. She comes up with plans, discusses other characters with Shaun, points out pratical flaws in new ideas... exactly as she did she was alive, really. It just seemed like a lazy way to have Georgia feature in the book without that pesky problem of her being dead. 

Just quickly... they are implying incest, right? Because they have a creepy-ass relationship if they're not. 

While, we're on the topic of characters, I actually really did like Maggie and her epileptic bulldogs. There we go, I said something nice. Shaun, however, I did not like (aaaaaaand we're back). He's awful -he's an arrogant thug and his entire team just kind of accepts it. It's a first person narrative too, so we're subjected to him calling people 'bitches' and talking about he constantly 'wants to punch him/her in the face.' I even hated his team for the way they just meekly took it. Get a backbone, people.

I struggled with seeing any of them as adults. I think I assume they're all 17/18 so it's odd when they have (reasonably graphic) sex and one of them is suddenly married. They act like teenagers and it's asking my imagination to out-do itself in order for me to believe otherwise.

Finally, the end of Book IV would have been a perfect place to end the novel, but it doesn't. It's unecessarily dragged-out and I really didn't appreciate the weak and obvious ending.

I know it sounds like I'm being overly harsh on Deadline, but I had high expectations so I feel frustrated and disappointed. I still barely understand what's going on, who's behind it or why. It's dry and repetitive with incredibly irritating characters. I really hope Symbiont, the sequel to Parasite, is better than this.


Go read my happy, positive reviews of Feed and Parasite. See? I do LIKE things occasionally!

Review: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

I first read Frankenstein pre-2006. I know this because I started recording my books in that year and it's not on my list, so that means that I read this at least nine years ago. Which is, quite frankly, a little depressing and a fact I hadn't clicked onto until just now so excuse me while I go throw up in a corner.

Anyway, the point is that I remembered very little about this book. I know I didn't like it much and I do know I moaned a lot because I thought it comprised of nothing but essays and lectures on morality.

I'm not sure what made me pick it up now, other than I'd finished my current book and it was right there on the Kindle (but then again, so were 70+ other books). Anyway, I'm glad to report that while I don't love Frankenstein, my opinion of it has much improved since 2005 (or whenever).

Plot summary: Obsessed with discovering the cause of generation and life and bestowing animation upon lifeless matter, Frankenstein assembles a human being from stolen body parts but; upon bringing it to life, he recoils in horror at the creature's hideousness. Tormented by isolation and loneliness, the once-innocent creature turns to evil and unleashes a campaign of murderous revenge against his creator, Frankenstein.

Slightly spoilery, but only slightly.

When I first started the book, I actually thought that maybe the wrong book had been delivered to my Kindle by mistake. The story opened in the Arctic, on a ship surrounded by ice, and that couldn't possibly be correct. Shows how much I remembered, right? 

I think I must be more accustomed to classics than when I was fifteen or so, because I didn't really notice any long-winded moral essays. That said, it isn't overly accessible and it does get a little dull at times. There's a lot of walking and waiting. I can deal with that though. What I can't deal with, however, is Victor Frankenstein. I'm trying to decide who's worse - him or Tess Durbeyfield. They're both so self-pitying and melodramatic. Although perhaps I'd be melodramatic too if a creature mushed together of dead bodies started chasing me round the country... Tess still has no excuse.

Anyway, I really dislike Victor. Everything is his own doing but he just refuses to see it. The Monster goes "Hey dude, you were pretty shit. Still, if you're nice to me now, I'll just amble off and leave you in peace," but Victor is too busy being shrill and denoucing the creature as evil. You know, that creature he created. He doesn't take any responsibility for his actions - he runs away screaming the second the monster comes to life and just leaves him to fend for himself.

   I perceived, as the shape came nearer (sight tremendous and abhorred!) that it was the wretch whom I had created. I trembled with rage and horror, resolving to wait his approach and then close with him in mortal combat. He approached; his countenance bespoke bitter anguish, combined with disdain and malignity, while its unearthly ugliness rendered it almost too horrible for human eyes. But I scarely observed this; rage and hatred had at first deprived me of utterance, and I recovered only to overwhelm him with words expressive of furious detestation and contempt.
   "Devil," I exclaimed, "do you dare approach me? And do not you fear the fierce vengeance of my arm wreaked on your miserable head? Begone, vile insect! Or rather, stay, that I may tample you to dust!"

This is never really addressed throughout the book, which irritated me. You could say that Victor gets his comeuppance, but he sees this as penance for creating the monster, not for abandoning him or being cruel. That is what the creature's behaviour stems from, after all.

It's amazing how little gore there is in this book. I know it was published in 1818 and so had to be more tasteful than today's horror novels, but this is a book about sewing together a creature from the parts of dead men! It's very vague, in a clever way, such as 'I collected the materials for the process,' meaning 'I dug up dead people.' No body parts or surgery is mentioned at any point. I don't know why, it just bemused me a little. 

It barely even mentions what the monster looks like. There's no green skin, no bolts through his neck, no moaning noise... He actually has super human speed, so I doubt he walks at a crawl with his arms outstretched. It just shows how much movies are responsible for the image we have of Frankenstein's monster.

Speaking of (and I know if you're reading a review of Frankenstein on a book blog, you probably don't need to be told this)... Frankenstein is the man, the doctor that created the monster that doesn't have a name. The green creature with bolts is not Frankenstein. But we knew that :)

I read in the introduction that Frankenstein came about because Mary Shelley suffered a series of still-births and obsessed over the idea of creating life in a non-natal situation. I don't know how true that is but I would certainly have read the book with a different tone if I had known beforehand.

It's a little creepy at times I suppose, but only slightly. I did feel for Victor Frankenstein by the end - we all do silly things when we're young. I admit mine tended to involve sambuca shots and funny hats, not the creation of 8 ft horror icons, but there you go.

While I did get into the book, it did feel very slow going and I never really wanted to pick it up once I'd put it down for a while. I'm glad I reread it so I have a clearer idea of what it's actually about, but I can't say it's one of my favourites.

Read Laura or Ellie's reviews of Frankenstein. They're more eloquent and less negative!  

Review: FEED (Newsflesh #1) by Mira Grant

After I finished Parasite last year, I was absolutely desperate to read everything else Mira Grant had ever written, ever. Unfortunately I had no money and therefore sat pining for days in front of a rainy window pane, just waiting for the day when Feed and I would be united... And then Charlotte bought it for me as a Christmas gift, which was pretty much the best thing ever. God bless her socks.

Plot summary: The year was 2014. We had cured cancer. We had beaten the common cold. But in doing so we created something new, something terrible that no one could stop. The infection spread, virus blocks taking over bodies and minds with one, unstoppable command: FEED.

Now, twenty years after the Rising, bloggers Georgia and Shaun Mason are on the trail of the biggest story of their lives - the dark conspiracy behind the infected. The truth will get out, even if it kills them.

A lot of other reviewers read FEED before Parasite, and their reviews of the latter basically state that they're both great but very similar. Personally, I don't see it. Maybe the order in which I read them makes a difference but I just don't see many similarities. Obviously the writing styles are similar (it being the same author and all) and both include 'evidence' from different media formats interspersed with the text, which works quite well. I don't intend this review to be solely a comparison of the two, but I did think the overarching story, plot twists and characters were very different from its predecessor.

So. Zombies. And bloggers. FEED took me a while to get into, which I think is partially because I just couldn't take the bloggers-saved-the-world thing seriously. I genuinely and literally managed to break my arm last night by tripping over a non-moving chair leg in a restaurant... ain't no way I could successfully bring the mainstream media to its knees by investigating the zombie outbreak. Not this blogger.

Funny how I can believe perfectly easily in the cannibalistic zombies but not the people who saved the day. But, like in Parasite, Mira Grant has put a tremendous amount of effort into researching the science behind the disease that infected everybody in the first place. She describes in great detail the two strains of completely different viruses that combine and affect the human body in unforeseen ways. I'm not saying it could happen, just that it makes sense.

The blogging thing? Not so much. They're split into three groups, all of which sound like something out of a Thursday Next novel and I just couldn't take it seriously. Newsies, Urwins and Fictionals, I think they're called. I understand the point and what it was meant to achieve, but it came off as a little too cheesy for me.

Feed is gloriously action-packed and fast-paced. There are plenty of undead crawling about along with a variety of twists to keep you on your toes. Some of them I saw coming but it didn't matter because they were dealt with so well. Georgia, Shaun and Buffy have to make some difficult decisions and Mira Grant doesn't pull any punches when she shows you the consequences. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's brutal or gory, but it's not as light a book as you'd think.

Right. Not to be That Person, but I do have some issues with how women are portrayed in this book. Yes, Georgia is a strong female protagonist who doesn't need a boyfriend (except for her truly creepy relationship with her brother) etc etc. Except, it makes too much of a point about this. The narrative constantly goes on about how sexless she is, how she's never dated and how she tries to look as male as possible. She doesn't smile, she doesn't laugh, she doesn't lighten up. This is where her credibility comes from.

Conversely, a female presidential candidate is dismissed as useless because she had a boob job. This from a 'Newsie,' proud of her ability to relate facts without opinion:

Word on the blog circuit is that Kirsten 'Knockers' Wagman had serious breast augmentation surgery before she went into politics... that worked for a while - it got her a seat in Congress - partially because people enjoy looking at her - but it isn't going to get her very far in a presidential race.

We're not talking about one of the great political minds of our age... Judging by the landslide of that first win, we'll be seeing congressional hearings graced by a lady in lingerie long after the end of her term in office.

Georgia hadn't even met Kirsten Wagman. Her campaign, political stance and manifesto were never even mentioned; just commentary how much of a skank she is for having a boob job. The message I take from this is that the only way to be respected is to look like a man and not date. If you have breast augmentation surgery or are in any way feminine, nope, go home. You cannot be President.

The ending to FEED is truly amazing. There's no cliffhanger as such, although certain wider issues are left outstanding. I finished the book sat in Waterstones cafe, where I had such a shellshocked expression that the waitress actually asked if I was alright, which I wasn't. At all. I think that's the main point to take away from this review - Parasite is consistently good from beginning to end, but FEED makes up for it by walloping you with the ending. Both are good, but in very different ways.

Read Ellie's review of Feed at Curiosity Killed the Bookworm. 

Review: Rosemary's Baby by Ira Levin

You know how sometimes you think you know the gist of a classic (ish) book and then it turns out that actually you had no idea and you're sat there, blinking, and going "What? Really!?" That.

Plot summary: Rosemary Woodhouse and her struggling actor-husband, Guy, move into the Bramford, an old New York City apartment building with an ominous reputation and only elderly residents. Neighbours Roman and Minnie Castavet soon come nosing around to welcome them; despite Rosemary's reservations about their eccentricity and the weird noises that she keeps hearing, her husband starts spending time with them. Shortly after Guy lands a plum Broadway role, Rosemary becomes pregnant, and the Castavets start taking a special interest in her welfare. As the sickened Rosemary becomes increasingly isolated, she begins to suspect that the Castavets' circle is not what it seems.

I can't decide if what the book is actually about counts as a spoiler or not because, although it's fairly apparent not too far into the book, it isn't mentioned in the blurb, which is my rule of thumb for these kind of things. As such, I won't mention it although you probably already know and the cover gives a damn good indication anyway. 

Vague? Me? God forbid.

Anyway, I wouldn't class Rosemary's Baby as horror - it's less scary than the Goosebumps books I read when I was a child I heard about from the other children. Instead of being outright frightening, it fills you with an odd sense of unease about... something. This isn't getting any less vague, is it? Sorry. You know what's happening and you know the Castavets are just not quite right somehow, but there's something else that niggles at the back of your head and prevents you from properly relaxing even when you put the book down.

I read the second half of the book in a wide-eyed, tense huddle - the atmosphere of not-right-ness had seeped through the pages and invaded my very core. It's predictable and not even very unique, but it does make you panickingly question the trustworthiness of neighbours, babies and pregnancies in general.   

The writing style is very simple, which makes sense as Rosemary herself is very simple. Now, I know this book is 47 years old and times have changed blah blah blah. But even for almost five decades ago, Rosemary is weak. I did feel for her and I desperately wanted her to succeed, but she was just so passive. I don't mean this as a flaw of the book because that's just her character - some people are actually like that, after all. The simple writing style just does a good job of highlighting that.

If I had one complaint about Rosemary's Baby, it was the ending. I know a mother's love can overcome a lot of things and it's been the focus of many a story before this one, but come on. It doesn't say a whole lot about the author's views on women if he thinks their sense of logic and morals can be that easily overcome. Cheers for that.

I haven't read Stepford Wives yet, but I think I will be doing soon - I know more about it than I did Rosemary's Baby, but not enough to spoil it. I really would recommend that you read this one though - it's short, accessible and interestingly disturbing.

 Read Laura's review of Rosemary's Baby at Devouring Texts.

Review: N0S4R2 by Joe Hill

While most other bloggers have signed off until after Christmas and left a cheerful message behind, I'm sat here alone at 11:35pm on Christmas Day writing about murderous child monsters and rapists. Who doesn't want to be me right now!?

Plot summary: Young Victoria McQueen has a gift fpr finding things. All she has to do is ride her bike through the Shorter Way Bridge and she'll come out wherever she needs to be... even if that's hundreds of miles away. But it turns out she's not the only one with a special ability.

There are others... like Charlie Manx, who takes children to Christmasland in his 1938 Rolls-Royce Wraith with its NOS4R2 vanity plate. Only by the time they get there his passengers have changed, utterly. They've become Charlie's children; as unstoppable and insane as Manx himself.

Only one kid ever escaped Charlie Manx: Vic McQueen. But her first brush with Manx lit the fuse on a life-and-death battle of wills... a battle that explodes a quarter of a century later. Because Manx has taken Vic's son. And Vic McQueen is going to get him back.

I have the utmost respect for Joe Hill for not even attempting to cash in on his father's name. It would have been so easy for him to do, but 'King' isn't featured anywhere on the cover of N0S4R2. Good for him (Later: I've now read his rants about The Hobbit film on Twitter and love him even more). To be honest, it's almost irrelevant anyway, as this book is more than capable of standing on its own two feet.

Even the most cursory glance at this book cover will draw the gigantic-ass wreath to your attention. I thought this meant I should try my damndest to read this before Christmas, which I subsequently did. Turns out it's really not important at all. Yes, Christmas does feature in the book but not in the way you're thinking. In a way, it might actually be better to read it in July (which is when the story takes place anyway) as the entire point of the book is an unnatural, disjointed Christmas. I was reading about haunting Christmas songs playing constantly, but then looking up at my tree and my lights and wondering exactly what the problem is. Anyway, your choice. But if you own it, don't put it off until next December!

So we've established when to read N0S4R2; now let's move on to how. The answer is: slowly. Every page needs to be savoured for its uniqueness, odd charm and quirky plot. Yes, it is 650+ pages long (taking a page from his father's book, clearly) but I swear they'll rush past before you even know what happened. I read half of it in pretty much one sitting just because I didn't want to stop reading.

It's not a scary book in the slightest; there are occasions that are slightly creepy, but never more than that and never for long. I say this like it's a disappointment, when it's really not. I thought of it more like an odd dream - it doesn't scare you, but you know there's something not quite right. It does work perfectly, though. Everything slots together into a novel that stands out as being completely one-of-a-kind. It's twisted, but fascinating.

Charles Manx is the perfect villain. He doesn't look like a stereotypical baddie; instead he seems more like somebody you could meet on the street and not think anything of it (evil car aside). People like him exist and that's far more worrying than any theoretical monster that lives under the bed. He genuinely believes that he's doing the right thing and that the children he abducts need to be rescued. There are a lot of layers to him, so it's difficult to see him as out-and-out evil. He's more dangerous, somehow - those who truly believe often are.

The ending is absolutely perfect too. I wasn't convinced at first, but then the narrative jumps a few months down the line and everything clicks into place. It makes sense and while it's not what I wanted to happen, I wouldn't change it. 

N0S4R2 is a very memorable book; I know I'll be thinking about it for months to come. It's a quirky story with certain 'paranormal' aspects, but the truly disturbing parts are the 'real-world' horrors - the serial rapist is described quite avidly, for a start. This book is truly brilliant and I can't recommend it highly enough.

 Visit Joe Hill here or find him on Twitter.

Review: Dracula by Bram Stoker

So apparently the 'done thing' is to set up a challenge, get really excited about it, comment on a lot of other posts... and then not actually read any of the damn books yourself. Or that's what you do if you're me, at any rate. But now that time is past! Look people - I can finally cross one book off my League of Extraordinary Gentlemen challenge!

Collected inside this book are diary entries, letters and newspaper clippings that piece together the depraved story of the ultimate predator. A young lawyer on an assignment finds himself imprisoned in a Transylvanian castle by his mysterious host. Back at home his fiancée and friends are menaced by a malevolent force which seems intent on imposing suffering and destruction. Can the devil really have arrived on England's shores? And what is it that he hungers for so desperately? 

Last Autumn, when I scowled viciously at my current, awful book and swore off vampires for the foreseeable future, prohibiting classic Dracula wasn't quite what I had in mind. The vampires of today sparkle, or have promiscuous sex for no apparent reason or all attend the same over-the-top gothic school. This book, however, couldn't be further from that. It may have been what originally sparked the popular myth eventually popularised by Stephanie Meyer, but this is definitely, definitely not fluffy YA.

I think most people are aware that the story concerns Jonathan and Mina Harker, and The Vampiriest Vampire of Them All, although I do admit that my sole knowledge came from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Hence the challenge, obviously. It surprised me how little the story actually revolves around them though - the first half is mostly about Mina's friend Lucy, and the second focuses more on Van Helsing and his doctor friend.

The LoEG's take on Mina.

That said, I did like Mina Harker. She acted as you would expect from an upper class Victorian lady - fainting, worrying, not taking any part in the action, etc - but still managed to make herself useful at the same time. In fact, the collection of letters, diary entries and newspaper entries that comprises the book was theoretically compiled by Mina Harker. I do wish that the men of the story would stop idolising her quite so much for no apparent reason though. They refer to her as 'that dear Madam Mina' more times than they use her damn name!

Never did I see such baffled malice on a face, and never, I trust, shall such ever be seen again by mortal eyes. The beautiful colour became livid, the eyes seemed to throw out sparks of hell fire, the brows were wrinkled as though the folds of flesh were the coils of Medusa's snakes, and the lovely, blood-stained mouth grew to an open square, as in the passion masks of the Greeks and Japanese. If ever a face meant death, if looks could kill, we saw it at that moment.

I also liked Van Helsing, although his long lectures on morality, sin and everything inbetween got a little annoying and hard to follow (or even summon interest for). He also had a strange way of speaking as he's Dutch and so occasionally struggles with his English. I understand the purpose of having a foreign vampire expert present, but it does grow old fast.

The story itself does take a good few chapters to get going. The beginning is painfully slow but is necessary to set the scene of gloom and despair. After that, I couldn't put it down. The narrative is told primarily through the characters diary entires, but with a few telegrams, letters and newspaper clippings to provide a little diversity. It kept the story fresh, seeing it from different perspectives and through different mediums.

It's not an action-packed book, nor a scary one. Instead it creates an atmosphere of darkness and despair that follows you even after you shut the book. Every time I put it down, I felt like I was in a little Dracula bubble that lasted for a long time after. The outside world just couldn't seem to permeate through, almost like Dracula himself had put me in a trance!

I really did enjoy Dracula, although it was a lot more formal and quieter than I expected. Still, I imagine it was more than a little shocking for 1897. It was interesting to see how all those vampiric traditions came about though - like the garlic and the Christian symbols. You have to be prepared to work at this novel, but it definitely does pay off.

As an off-note, did you know that Bram Stoker's wife was first courted by Oscar Wilde, but she chose Stoker over him? God bless Wikipedia.

Read the whole of Dracula, free and legally, here.

Review: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving

First off, there is absolutely no reason not to read this. It's free on a Kindle or whatever eBook reader you use and it's so short I've read leaflets on high blood pressure that were longer than this. Most important though, it's really, really good.

The story is set circa 1790 in the Dutch settlement of Tarry Town, New York, in a secluded glen called Sleepy Hollow. It tells the story of Ichabod Crane, a lanky schoolmaster from Connecticut, who competes with Abraham "Brom Bones" Van Brunt, the town rowdy, for the hand of 18-year-old Katrina Van Tassel, only daughter of a wealthy farmer. As Crane leaves a party at the Van Tassel home on an autumn night, he is pursued by the Headless Horseman, supposedly the ghost of a Hessian trooper who lost his head to a cannonball during the American Revolutionary War.

Terrifying. Seriously.

One day I'm going to shock you all and not write this, but hey - the story is nothing like the blurb. My best friend threatened to have that inscribed on my grave once, which was slightly morbid but not entirely unjustified. Anyway, it's more domestic than creepy. A large portion of the book is backstory, as Ichabod's Crane's history, demeanor and desires are described in great detail and then another portion is given over to his flirtation with a farmer's daughter. Finally, the last little bit is the creepy bit, although the Scooby Doo version was scarier. No, really, it scared the bejeezuz out of me when I was about fourteen eight.

Despite that, I did enjoy it. I would preferred a little more Headless Action but it was written in a wonderfully engrossing manner and every leaf and stone is described in amazing detail. I wish the mystery could have been wrapped up a little better, but the Horseman himself was sufficiently creepy.

The dominant spirit, however, that haunts this enchanted region, and seems to be commander-in-chief of all the powers of the air, is the apparation of a figure on horseback, without a head. It is said by some to be the ghost of a Hessian trooper, whose head had been carried away by a cannon-ball, in some nameless battle during the Revolutionary War, and who is ever and anon seen by the country folk hurrying along in the gloom of night, as if on the wings of the wind.

A quick read that's definitely worth it, but don't expect to be terrified!