Review: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

I just can't believe how heavily I fell in love with this book. I read it every spare second of every day and when I couldn't read it, I wanted to. I liked The Lord of the Rings, but somehow The Hobbit seems to transcend even that. I've spent the last few days deciding exactly where to get Smaug tattooed on my body; my foot seems like the best option, although at the minute my forehead isn't completely out of the question. God I love this book.

Plot summary: Bilbo Baggins is a hobbit who enjoys a comfortable, unambitious life, rarely travelling further than the pantry of his hobbit-hole in Bag End.

But his contentment is disturbed when the wizard, Gandalf, and a company of thirteen dwarves arrive on his doorstep one day to whisk him away on an adventure. They have a plot to raid the treasure hoard guarded by Smaug the Magnificent, a large and very dangerous dragon. Bilbo is most reluctant to take part in this quest, but he surprise even himself by his resourcefulness and his skill as a burglar!

I'll save my film rant for another day; suffice it to say that there is no way in the deepest pits of Hell that this needs to be three films. Part of the beauty of The Hobbit, for me, is how succinct it is and dragging it on and on and on through three horribly stretched out films almost ruins that. Alright, well, I'll save the rest of my film rant for another day, but it's true! Argh.

I got so into this book that I forgot what the fundamental point of the story was, so when Gollum and The Ring popped up I was pleasantly surprised. There are lots of references from here in the LotR books and movies - Bilbo's mithril armour, for example, or how Gandalf came by Glamdring. It's not essential, but it gave me a nice 'Ahhh!' moment every time.

Bilbo is a little irritating, but then I found Frodo just as useless in LotR. Gandalf though... ah, Gandalf. I really think he could have defeated Smaug, stolen the treasure and destroyed the Ring himself, probably without even stopping for tea. Why he feels the need to potter about sending other morons, I'll never know. It was surprisingly easy keeping twelve dwarves all straight in my head, although Thorin annoyed me to a ridiculous extent towards the end. Selfish bugger.

Deep down here by the dark water lived old Gollum, a small slimy creature. I don't know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was a Gollum - as dark as darkness, except for two big pale round eyes in his thin face. He had a little boat, and he rowed about quite quietly on the lake; for lake it was, wide and deep and deadly cold. He paddled it with large feet dangling over the side, but never a ripple did he make. Not he.

I got so into this book that I actually squeaked while reading it in Meadowhall Bus Station. I'd got to a part where I was desperately screaming for the men of Lake-town to "FIIIIGHT!" in my head that it came out of my mouth as little "eeeeeep!" and scared the boy next to me so much he literally moved away. The point is, with The Hobbit, you get underneath the book where you care so much that it stops being just a story and starts being a piece of you, almost. Maybe that boy will read it one day and understand.

There are some great turns of phrase in this book and they're genuinely a pleasure to read. Obviously there are plenty of action and mystery scenes, but some of the best lines come from where the characters are sat around smoking a pipe. Because of this, and because there are much fewer 'walking scenes,' it's much more accessible than Lord of the Rings. This originally started out as a series of bedtime stories for Tolkien's children, and it shows.

"Good morning!" he said at last. "We don't want any adventures here, thank you! You might try over The Hill or across The Water."  By this he meant that the conversation was at an end.

"What a lot of things you do use Good morning for!" said Gandalf. "Now you mean that you want to get rid of me, and that it won't be good till I move off."

"Not at all, not at all, my dear sir! Let me see, I don't think I know your name?"

"Yes, yes, my dear sir - and I do know your name, Mr Bilbo Baggins. And you do know my name, though you don't remember that I belong to it. I am Gandalf, and Gandalf means me! To think that I should have lived to me good-morninged by Belladonna Took's son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!"

I'm actually disappointed now I've finished it - I'll never have the excitement of reading this for the first time again. And anybody who suggests 'Yeah Hanna, but at least you have the excitement of watching the films for the first time!' gets a swift knock upside the head.

Which is your favourite: The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings?